There was a girl
who thought she was in love
all her friends warned her
that he could never be the one
but she thought they were wrong.

She talked to him
every minute she could
and she thought "he's almost mine".

Then he kicked dirt in her face
called her ugly
proved she didn't belong in his embrace.

That day,
she fell from grace.

She wanted to be pretty
she wanted to be loved

She spent the summer
living healthy
so that she could get all of the above.

20 pounds later
and a smile on her face
she want back to school
ready to prove everyone wrong.

But then the homework started to pile up
plans started to be made
boys got in the way.
She fell into lust.

She lost hold of everything
and despite what she thought
she kept that weight off.
But she still felt unworthy and not enough.

So that girl
but a blade to her wrist
she didn't cut
she just starred at it.

She put the blade away
and turned the music up louder
and wondered what kept her from dying
and wondered why she hadn't left her hell hole yet.

Soon later she met another boy
and tried to refuse to fall into the same love with him.
But of course she did,
they always do.

After much agony
and stress
she finally got what she wanted:
a boy to love her through it all.

But still that feeling lingered
of never being good enough.
She watched pretty girls
and compared
and never felt right.

This time she planned it.
Found the times of the bus schedule
and the price of a Grey Hound bus ticket.

Every last detail
down to the last inch.
But could she leave?
Would she ever really do it?

Only time can tell.

You can not be a knight in shining armor
Or the prince ready to sweep me off my feet.

High expectations have ruined
far too many things for me.

You can't stay up past 3 o'clock
You seem to get bored when we talk.

I grew up on movies and books
that implanted too many unrealistic thoughts.

We don't kiss in the rain
And you don't buy me white roses (because red ones are a bore).

But I guess, there really is no point
in tired cliches like that.

You can't toss rocks at my window
Or make a mix tape of your favorite love songs.

Maybe I was born in the wrong decade
for this thing called love.

Sometimes I'd rather talk than text
Sometimes I'd rather sleep than kiss.

Hollywood taught me
to expect things I'll never get.

You wouldn't grab me by the waist and not let me go until I told you what's wrong
You wouldn't act rough and passionate and take fully control

The world taught me to be sexist and submissive
always wanting the man to have control.

I don't even have a ring on my finger
a sign marking that I'm yours to forever hold.

But I guess I'm just old fashioned
and traditions fade with time.

I know you love me
and I know that you are mine.

I wouldn't trade you away for anything.
Sometimes, I just let my expectations get the best of me.

But in reality none of it even matters
as long as I know
that you love me.

I'll cry.

Because everything else is so much more important
than me.

Every night,
there's a new reason
for you to go to sleep.

And maybe I just always wanted
someone that would never want to go
someone that would stay up with me
until the first beam of sunlight broke.

And maybe I'm too needy
and maybe I'm not right

But I always wanted someone to be my light in the night

'Cause I stay up too late
and all those thoughts rush back to me:
of the boys and the girls
the love and the hate
every single god damned heart break

I remember that I'm not worth it
and I'm not good enough

I remember every reason why
I used to cry
myself to sleep every single night

And then I remember that that's the reason why
I just don't sleep anymore
cause sleep is too painful
and when I'm awake
I'll never miss a beat
and my heart won't go back
to barely even beating.

There used to be nights when I'd sit up and plan
how to fuck my life up even worse again
ways to think about how to end the pain
and suffering.

And that's why I hate night
and being alone

and why I always thought that when I had someone to call my own
they would be my knight and
slay the night
and be my everlasting light.

But I was too naive and selfish to have known-
that some people like the night
to be alone.